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Choosing your time[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Read More Messages in the Healing Cafe ] [ FAQ ] Posted by Shawna (68.98.11.149) on 12:23:05 15/04/05 My grandmother recently passed away from lung cancer. For the last month and a half of her life, we knew her time was near. Fortunately she was able to live at home with hospice care, and my family and I took turns relieving my mother of her round the clock vigil by her bedside in the dining room. During this time, my grandmother and us said our goodbyes- we each spent time alone with her and had our own special conversations and memories. My grandfather was able to finally come to terms with her impending death- something he had neglected during her bought with breast cancer and the past year she had lung cancer. It was a truly unique and priveledged experience, because as a family we acknowledged death and the way it would affect us all. Hospice was truly amazing- we are forever thankful. And yet, for the last week my grandmother was alive was awful. First she panicked- she didnt know where she was, she was in horrible pain despite what would have been more than lethal doses of morphine for you or I. All we could do was drug her so she went to sleep. Eventually she slept 24 hours a day, but my mother agonized over whether or not she was in pain, or conscious in some way. The last three days my grandmother's mouth began to fill with old blood- assumably from her stomach. The smell overwhelmed the tiny house, and mouth-bathing rituals became more and more frequent, to no avail. Many times throughout the month, my grandmother would say, "OK, I'm ready," and be frustrated to wake hours later, to find she was still alive. During moments of intense pain, she would ask why we werent helping her- wasnt there anything we could do to help her? The Schiavo case was on TV around this time, and my born-again Christian grandfather, grandmother, and uncle all admitted that they could not possibly judge that Terry should live, since they could not possibly put themselves in her family's shoes. But they would have done whatever they could to help my grandmother's suffering end, and she was a woman who went bikeriding up until 5 years ago, and enjoyed oil painting until about a year ago. She attended my wedding last year, wig and wheelchair and all, and stayed after cake. She had a great quality of life until the end, and when that end came, she should have been allowed the dignity to go when she knew with her 75 years of wisdom, that she was ready.
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ABOUT | ARTICLES | MOTIVATIONAL KEYNOTE SPEAKER | SCHLAGBYTES | PRODUCTS | CONTACT Dr. Carl A. Hammerschlag, M.D., CPAE, psychiatrist and author, is a professional keynote and motivational speaker. He speaks on a variety of topics including healthcare, mind body and spirit, health and wellness, mental healing and leadership. He has delivered motivational and keynote speaches to corporate and business clients around the world. |
